CARNIVAL--BUT WAIT, IT'S FUN!
EVERY YEAR WE HAVE CARNIVAL HERE IN LA PAZ. IT'S THE SAME CELEBRATION AS MARDI GRAS IN NEW ORLEANS, OR THE ALWAYS POPULAR TO LOOK AT THE PICTURES NAKEDLADYWITHAHEADDRESSANDTHONG RIDING ON A TRUCK IN RIO, BUT THIS IS LA PAZ. SOME MYSTICAL COMBINATION OF FAT TUESDAY, ASH WEDNESDAYS, AND MEATLOAF THURSDAYS TIMES THE CUBE ROOT OF ST. SWITHENS' DAY BRINGS US TO THE WEEK OF CARNIVAL. I WON'T GET INTO A DISCUSSION ON RELIGION, NOT WANTING TO OFFEND THOSE OF YOU WHO WOULD BE, OR BORE THOSE OF YOU WHO'VE HEARD IT BEFORE, BUT THESE "RELIGION" BASED HOLIDAYS THAT ARE AN EXCUSE FOR EXCESSES WHICH THEN FORCE US TO RETURN TO RELIGION TO BEG FORGIVENESS AND ATONEMENT FOR THE BEHAVIOR THAT WAS PERPETRATED IN THE NAME OF THE ATONERS.....SORRY, THERE I GO AGAIN. ANYWAY, IT'S CARNIVAL-- BUT WAIT, IT'S FUN!
THE WEEK BEFORE CARNIVAL STARTS THE MIGRATION. CARNY WORKERS START ARRIVING WITH THE RIDES. THE CITY OF LA PAZ HAS DEEMED THAT THE MALECON IS THE PLACE FOR THE CARNIVAL, SO THE RIDES SET UP ON THE STREET. THESE THINGS ARE HUGE RUST COVERED TRANSFORMERS THAT COME IN ON A TRUCK LIKE FRAME AND THEN START UNFOLDING, AND GROWING IN ALL DIMENSIONS UNTIL, VOILA, YOU HAVE A "TUNNEL OF TERROR" OR A KIDDIE ROLLER COASTER, OR AN OCTOPUS TO FLING SHRIEKING TEENAGERS AROUND UNTIL THEY ARE READY TO PROJECTILE VOMIT. THOSE GUYS ARE OUT THERE NOW, POUNDING HUGE SPIKES INTO THE GROUND FOR GUY-WIRES, SNAKING KNEE THICK POWER CABLES TO ANCIENT AND GIANT GENERATORS SO THAT WHILE YOU ARE GETTING FLUNG IN ALL DIRECTIONS THERE ARE ALSO BRIGHT LIGHTS BLASTING IN YOUR FACE AND UNDISCERNABLY LO-FI, BUT LOUD, ROCK AND ROLL MUSIC ASSAULTING YOUR REMAINING SENSES. IT'S AN INVASION OF BARBARIANS WITH THEIR TERROR MACHINES-- BUT WAIT, IT'S FUN!
THESE GUYS LOOK LIKE A CASTING CALL FOR PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN IV. THE GRIFTERS AND CON MEN THAT HANG AROUND STATE FAIRS UP YOUR WAY ARE GQ MODELS COMPARED TO THESE GUYS. NOT A FULL COMPLIMENT OF TEETH, FINGERS, AND EYES DO ANY ONE OF THEM HAVE, AND UNDERSTANDABLY THEY ARE NOT A PARTICULAR JOYOUS LOT. IF ONE OF THEM MONOCULARLY SCANS YOUR DAUGHTER, YOUR WIFE, OR YOU IT MAKES YOU WANT TO REACH FOR A CAN OF RAID-- BUT WAIT, IT'S FUN!
AND THEN, THE STREET GETS CLOSED UP TO TRAFFIC. HUNDREDS OF POLICE AND POLICE RESERVES LINE EVERY SIDE STREET, ENSCONCED BEHIND THEIR WALLS OF ORANGE CONES, BLOWING THEIR WHISTLES AND WAVING THEIR ARMS SUCH THAT TCHAIKOVSKY WOULD BUT STAND IN WONDER. YOU POLITELY COMMUNICATE THAT YOUR BUSINESS IS ON THE MALECON, AND THAT YOU HAVE 300KG OF GROCERIES AND BEER IN YOUR CAR, AND THAT IF THEY WOULD JUST LET YOU PASS, YOU WILL UNLOAD AND THEN RETREAT BEHIND THE BARRIERS. WHISTLES BLOW, ARMS WAVE, AND YOU ARE REFUSED. THEN BEGINS THE BATAAN DEATH MARCH TO GET THE STUFF 4 BLOCKS TO THE HOUSE.(NOTHING ATTRACTS ATTENTION LIKE A HUGE GRINGO IN A TIE DYED T-SHIRT WITH TWO CASES OF BEER ON HIS SHOULDERS SHUFFLIN' DOWN THE STREET).-- BUT WAIT, IT'S FUN!
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
THE ROOF OF THE HOUSE IS A REALLY GOOD WAY TO VIEW THE PARADE FROM AS IF FROM A BLIND, BUT AT LEAST ONE NIGHT YOU HAVE TO IMMERSE YOURSELF IN THE GOINGS ON, ON THE STREET, KNEE DEEP IN LIFE. PUT YOUR WALLET IN YOUR FRONT POCKET AND JOIN THE REVELLERS. DOWN THE MALECON A LARGE STAGE HAS BEEN ERECTED AND VARIOUS TALENTS FROM AROUND LA PAZ AND MEXICO PERFORM. SINGER, DANCERS, AND JUGGLERS DEMONSTRATE THEIR TALENTS TO A CROWD OF MAYBE 2500 PEOPLE WHILE SURROUNDING BOOTHS SELL VARIOUS FOOD, DRINK, AND THE OCCASIONAL BLANKET WITH A REALLY UGLY TIGER OR WOLF EMBLAZONED UPON IT.--BUT WAIT, IT'S FUN!
EACH MORNING IS LIKE A HUGE 3 DIMENSIONAL HANG OVER. PEOPLE SWEEPING AND
PUSHING LAST EVENINGS' PILES OF DETRITUS BACK AND FORTH LIKE HOCKEY PUCKS, CARNIVAL GUYS SLEEPING IN THEIR BAGS UNDER THE
RIDES, MAKING USE OF NOOKS AND CRANNIES FOR THEIR PERSONAL EVACUATIONS. THEN AS THE DAY WEARS ON THEY START TO COME OUT OF THEIR BURROWS, CIRCULATE, AND FEED. BY THE LATE AFTERNOON THE CROWDS START TO GATHER FOR THE EVENING PARADE AND FESTIVITIES AND IT BEGINS AGAIN-- BUT IT'S FUN!
SO I GUESS THAT THE MORAL IS THAT THE CARNIVAL IS A LOT OF FUN, UNLESS YOU'RE TRYING TO LIVE AND WORK IN THE MIDDLE OF IT. THE GOOD NEWS IS THAT YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO THAT. YOU CAN COME DOWN, SKIM OFF THE CREAMY FUN, AND LEAVE ALL THAT OTHER STUFF TO CURMUDGEONS LIKE ME. --BUT WAIT, I'VE GOT MY EGGS AND I'M GOING!
DAVID
