WHEN I WAS A KID MY DAD USED TO MAINTAIN THE FAMILY CARS. CHANGING OIL, TUNE UPS, BRAKES, MINOR REPAIRS AND PREVENTATIVE TASKS. IT'S WHERE I STARTED TO LEARN TO USE PROFANITIES. "HAS YOUR FATHER FOUND ALL THE S.O.B.'S, DAVEY?" MY MOM WOULD ASK, AND I WOULD ANSWER PROUDLY, "NOPE, HE JUST FOUND SOME MORE!" (I LATER CONTINUED MY GRADUATE STUDIES IN THE PROFANE LEARNING FROM MY OLDER SISTER). I WAS LIKE THE NURSES IN THE OPERATING ROOM, STANDING BY TO SLAP THE NEXT PIECE OF SURGICAL EQUIPMENT INTO HIS GREASY HAND AS IT EXTENDED FROM BENEATH THE AILING PATIENT.
PART OF THIS RITUAL WAS A TRIP TO MENLO AUTO PARTS. THIS WAS LIKE A WONDERFUL, SEPARATE WORLD, KINDA LIKE ONE OF THE SUB WORLDS AT DISNEY LAND. A SMALL CUSTOMER WAITING AREA, BACKLESS CHROME STOOLS WITH BLACK NAUGAHYDE SEATS, A GREEN FORMICA COUNTER TOP WITH THE WELL WORN SECTIONS TURNING THE UNDERLYING WHITE. BEHIND A WORLD OF MYSTERY, ROWS OF SHELVES AND BINS, HUNDREDS OF VARIOUS PARTS WAITING TO RESOLVE SOMEONES, EVERY ONES' TRANSPORTATION PROBLEMS. BEHIND THE COUNTER WERE LARRY AND RODGER. ROUGH CUT HOMBRES THEY WERE, ROGER WITH HIS D.A. HAIRCUT AND MULTIPLE TATS, LARRY SHAGGY AND BEARDED. THEY EXUDED THE KIND OF BAD BOY BIKER AIR THAT JAMES DEAN ONLY PRETENDED TO EXUDE. NICE GUYS, ALWAYS POLITE AND FRIENDLY, THEY ALWAYS REFERRED TO MY DAD AS "DOC", THE ONLY PEOPLE THAT I HAD HERE TO FORE HEARD REFER TO HIM AS SUCH. "WHAT'RE WE WORKIN' ON TODAY DOC?" THEY WERE A FOUNT OF MECHANICAL EXPERIENCE AND TALENT. THE MAIN REASON THAT MY DAD FORSOOK THE NEWLY OPENED "SCHERBA'S" OR THE BROTHERS M,M,&J, WAS THAT THE GUYS AT THOSE NEON LIT PARTS CASINOS "DIDN'T KNOW CRAP" AND WEREN'T GOIN' OUTTA THEIR WAY TO HELP. NO REAL PARTS, JUST THOUSANDS OF TUBES AND PLASTIC BOTTLES, ALL PROTECTED FROM NUCLEAR ATTACK BY THOSE GOD DAMN PLASTIC HANGING CARD THINGS THAT NO ONE CAN OPEN. IF YOU TOOK A PART TO MENLO AUTO FOR MACHINING OR REFURBISHING, AND THAT SPECIFIC SERVICE WAS ONE THAT THEY DID NOT PROVIDE, THEY WOULD TAKE IT TO THEIR COMPETITORS FOR YOU, TRACK IT'S COMPLETION AND CALL YOU DOWN TO M.A.P. TO GET YOUR PART, WHERE YOU PAID THE INVOICE FROM THE OTHER SHOP, AND YOU WERE DONE. THEY WERE COMMITTED TO GETTING YOUR CAR FIXED, WHETHER OR NOT IT MEANT AN IMMEDIATE PROFIT TO THEM. CAN YOU IMAGINE? RELIABILITY, CONSISTENCY, PERFORMANCE, TOUGH TO BEAT, JUST FOLLOW THEIR ADVICE.
FISHING RIGHT NOW IS KINDA LIKE THAT. THERE ARE SOME MARLIN, THERE ARE SOME WAHOO, EVEN A FEW SAILFISH, BUT FOR THOSE THAT CHOOSE TO TAKE THAT RISK THE REWARDS ARE SPOTTY. IF YOU SETTLE INTO THE FISHING THAT IS GOING ON, THOUGH SLIGHTLY LESS GLAMOROUS, THE REWARDS HAVE BEEN SIGNIFICANT AND PREDICTABLE. WE HAVE A LOT OF MACKEREL AROUND NOW, BOTH THE TRADITIONAL GREENIES AND THE YELLOW TAIL MACKEREL THAT THE LOCALS CALL "PLANTANOS". THE METHODS FOR CATCHING EACH KIND ARE DIFFERENT, BUT SUFFICE IT TO SAY THAT FOR THE LAST 3 WEEKS OR SO WE'VE BEEN TAKING ONE KIND OR ANOTHER, OR BOTH, ON A VERY REGULAR BASIS. THEN OUT TO YOUR FAVORITE ROCK PILE, BEST TO TROLL VERY SLOWLY, OR IF THE CURRENT WILL ALLOW, DRIFT THE LIVE BAITS OVER THE STRUCTURE, AND HANG ON. THIS AIN'T YOUR HAWAII MARLIN CRUISER, YOU DON'T HAVE 10 MINUTES TO PARK YOUR MAI TAI BY THE BLENDER AND FLOSS WHILE YOUR WEE NATIVE COMPENDIUM HOOKS THE FISH AND SCAMPERS TO ASSIST YOU IN YOUR ENSCONCMENT IN THE MULTI POSITIONAL ADJUSTABLE THRONE OF COMBAT. NO NO, YOU BETTER HANG ON, GET CRANKIN' AND LISTEN TO THE CAPTAIN. IF YOUR LINE, AND LUCK HOLD YOU SHOULD BE FAST TO ONE OF THE OFFENSIVE LINEMEN OF THE SEA. CABRILLA INTO THE HIGH TEENS, CLAVALLINOS TO 23 LBS., MULATTOS TO 20, A FEW DOG SNAPPER, AND EVEN THE OCCASIONAL YELLOW TAIL HAVE BEEN COMING IN. 12 STRIKES, 8 HOOK UPS, 4 IN THE BOAT. THAT'S KINDA WHAT'S BEEN GOIN' ON. THAT RATIO IS SUBJECT TO CHANGE WITH LUCK, YOUR SKILL, AND A BIT OF SWAMP GAS, BUT YOU WILL CATCH SOME FISH, YOU WILL GET ROCKED, AND YOU CAN HAVE A VERY GOOD TIME IF THAT IS YOUR INTENTION.
